Monday, July 29, 2013

Because every time I expect myself to blog again soon, the exact opposite happens...

     I'm not even going to pretend anymore.  I think.  I will post when I feel like posting, and that is all I should expect of myself.  You see, when I expect myself to write, I turn blogging into a huge THING in my head.  It becomes a responsibility, it becomes work, it becomes important, and it becomes difficult.  In general, I don't do well with those things.  It's why I don't have dogs (or children), it why I would never want to be a store manager, or an HR person... If I do anything with the company I own, it will just be me responsible for myself.  Because I don't abhor responsibility, I just have a hard time with being responsible for other people or things.   Anyway, while I would like to be able to set a posting schedule and stick to it, for now I will just not set myself up for failure anymore.

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     I injured my knee at work recently.  It's not serious, but has required several days of limited activity.  I haven't been able to work, but fortunately Ptah has been able to pick up my slack on his days off from his other job.  Horus has been attending to the other things that are currently difficult or impossible for me to do.  Sure, this situation would have been possible without polyamory, but far less probable.  It's good to have more than one person around who cares about my health and well-being.  One of the reasons I decided to try this whole poly thing in the first place was that I wanted a support system, the likes of which I've never had with family.

     One of the other big reasons, of course, is that I like having more than one relationship.  I've been feeling the desire again to try dating.  I'm not desperate to date; I will only do so if it feels right, and adds to my life while not taking anything away from my relationships.  I don't foresee that actually happening any time soon, but shifting to the mindframe of being open again has helped me feel a little better.

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     Horus and I had a counseling session together last week, and that was pretty good.  We don't have anything serious going on, but we have fallen into some unhealthy communication patterns, and an often negative approach when dealing with any conflict.  Part of this is due to differing personality types, and different emotional strategies.  I can often be seen as insensitive, and Horus can often be seen as sensitive... that can be a destructive combination, so we seek to understand each other better.

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     For the past few months, we have been eating vegetables almost exclusively from our own gardens.  Everything from the pak choi to the fava beans has been amazing.  Currently, I'm most looking forward to tomatoes, and replanting for fall and winter harvest.  We're still harvesting, but some of the early plantings are petering out.  Which is cool, because then we get to plant new things! The blackberries around our house are starting to ripen, as are the small plums.  The apple trees are putting on plenty of apples, and we know a few places to forage local berries.  I've made preserves with rose petals, and Horus made some berry syrups.  I bought some local grass-fed beef, and refuse to buy any other kind now.

     I made a frittata for the first time a couple months ago, and now it's a staple dish around here.  It's a good way to use a lot of vegetables, and I like to make a big pan, then not have to cook for a couple of days.

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     In June, Ptah went back to visit with family, and ended up with a fishing license.  I'd been wanting to get into fishing for some time, so I took the opportunity to make it happen.  I ordered rods and reels, bought beginner tackle and gear, and Horus and I also acquired fishing licenses.  The three of us went on a one-night camping and fishing trip, but had no luck.  Horus and I went and paddled around a local lake last week, and had no luck there, either. 

     I want to continue trying, though.  I'd like to be able to add fish to our diet, and can't really afford to pay what it costs.  Besides, being on or near water, engaging in quiet concentration, is an activity I find enjoyable. :)

     So yes, a lot of life revolves around food at this time.  I like it, though.  The things I consume now are a lot more satisfying than they used to be.  And, you know, I gotta eat.

     See you next time!