Tuesday, May 22, 2012

Skipping Milestones

     I haven't been writing much lately, obviously.  Part of that has been a lack of time and energy due to it being our busy season at work.  But also, as I like to say, I am a creature of inertia.  When I start writing a lot, it is easy for me to continue writing a lot.  But when I stall... it's hard to get going again.

     In short, though, the month has been full of milestones.

     Thoth has moved most of his things out.  He still has a bit of furniture, some decorative items, and four plastic totes to pick up.  He requested last week that Ptah and I pack the rest of the stuff into the basement for him to collect a day or two later, and then never came for them.  Of course, we haven't gathered the items either, but seriously... I packed much of his stuff for him already.  I'm kind of annoyed at being expected to do so, especially since he apparently believes he can just show up whenever he wants to collect it.  He also had my phone shut off (and my sister's) with no warning.  I'm fine with having to get my own account, in fact I'd planned on it, and I was planning on pitching in on the bill until I could do so.  But a few days' notice would have been the respectful thing to do... I rely on my phone for work purposes much of the time; to have to go without phone service has been a minor nightmare.

     But then, the past few months have been full of nothing but childish behavior from him, so I'm not exactly surprised.  I admit that this whole debacle hurts a bit.  To think that someone I spent almost six years of my life with can just turn around and be so callous... well, I only feel more correct in my decision to end things as time passes.  That doesn't mean that I wanted it to end so stupidly.  That was his choice. 

     Earlier this month, Ptah and I celebrated one year together.  Well, we acknowledged it, anyway.  I had to work a long day on the date, and our work schedules have been preventing us from celebrating properly.  So May 10th was Beach Day (Official), and the next day we have off together and can plan a beach adventure will be Beach Day (Observed).  The lack of time and energy to put into our relationship has caused a little unhappiness, but we've talked about it, and we both know that the future will still be there for us.  We'll get that time when we get that time, and there's no reason to suffer in frustration until then. 

     On the 13th, Horus and I celebrated two months of official relationship titles.  I had requested that he find the sappiest way to acknowledge the day that he could, and so we went camping.  At midnight, his watch beeped and he turned to me and said "Happy anniversary."  I was too grumpy (due to other things) to properly state my appreciation at the time, but I was tickled.  In the morning I woke first and got to spend a good chunk of time alone, with nothing to do but stare at the mountains and watch the birds and sit in the morning sun.  It was good... especially after a long work week plus. 

     Then it got hot, and I got grumpy and tired.  So we played at the river, and sent burning moss downstream.  Okay, I suppose one had to be there to fully appreciate it.  But seriously, it was some of the most fun I'd had in a long time. 

     Horus and I are acquiring quite a collection of rocks from our time together.  From the day we met in person, the majority of our time in the outdoors together has resulted in at least a few interesting rocks being picked up and pocketed.  Finding them in various pockets and random places always brings back some pleasant time together.  Each one represents some moment, some milestone.  Because, really, all of the moments spent with anyone we really care about are important. 

     Even the small quiet ones. 

     Even the ones with no words, no apparent significance.  Sometimes, the biggest moments are those which just involve being, and knowing that the person next to us is there because they want to be.

     With Ptah, those moments are what hold us together when there's no time for much else.  Our relationship started with a quiet and deep friendship, and that is still there.  Perhaps it always will be.

     With Horus, those moments are few and far between, but I appreciate them no less.  And the rocks we gather are a visible representation of the important times we've had.  It's still a relatively small collection, but I think it's likely to get much bigger in the future.  I look forward to collecting those moments. 

1 comment:

  1. Aww... No mention of the "passive aggressive dam building" before the burning moss rafts?

    Indeed, so many pretty rocks linked to pretty awesome memories and times. :)


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