Thursday, February 9, 2012

My Blue Heaven

     I tried to find a good copy of the Smashing Pumpkins cover of My Blue Heaven to link here, but all I could scrounge up was a poorly copied version, and a bunch of live versions on YouTube.  It's the only one I've heard which properly imparts the feeling of calm and comfort I'm going for here.  So, if you have a copy of The Aeroplane Flies High boxed set, I recommend giving the song a listen while, or before, or after reading this blog post.

     Yesterday, I went on a "date."  Like I said, I don't like the word... but like I told my "date," it is what the cool kids call spending time together to try to figure out any relationship potential.  I suppose I could say that yesterday, I spent time with someone to try to figure out any relationship potential, but that's rather cumbersome. 

     Of course, I just said it anyway.

     The date, though, was awesome.  I got a gluten free sandwich and my hair brushed, talked about important subjects, and learned about dry water.  Dry water! It's a thing.  I know, what the fuck, right? I love knowledge, especially seemingly random knowledge, and I enjoy being able to share that with people.  I came home, walked into the bathroom, and realized that the girl in the mirror was smirking. 

      This morning, Ptah and I snuggled on the couch, talked about my date and relationship probabilities, and reveled in what is known as RRE (renewed relationship energy).  That was awesome, too.  He also helped to alleviate some of the guilt which keeps popping up at the idea of starting another relationship.  Not that I don't think I deserve to, but I am prone to guilt. 

    Part of this new relationship adventure will be discovering new things about myself, in many contexts.  Expanding what I consider my (flexible) boundaries, and engaging in activities I've not experienced before.  It's also going to involve expanding the network of people who may be affected by my actions, which will be an interesting change, but probably pose no actual difficulty to me.  It's much easier to be excited (and *admit* to being excited), because the person I'm dealing with isn't afraid to show his own feelings.  Life is so much easier for me when people can be clear and open without being sappy or demanding.

     So now I sit on the couch with my husband and my consort, while the guy who has yet to gain a title spends time with his girlfriend and discusses boundaries for behavior with me.  My life has suddenly turned into a bunch of poly tropes.  And that is also awesome. 

No comments:

Post a Comment

Please keep things polite. Any hateful or rude comments may be deleted.